Drugs for a Sexier Body

Bryan Borra

Added 5 October 2008
Category: Health

That's right, friends and neighbors -- drugs. A candid discussion about the express route to a better (which in many cases means healthier) body. Here's the situation: You've been training your ass off, eating five healthy meals a day, and supplementing with everything your trainer ever recommended. Still, you're not getting the physique you really, really want. Now what? A couple disclaimers: First, these things take time, so don't start bitching about not seeing results until you have put in some legitimate time and effort. Second, it is unlikely that you will ever be truly satisfied. Anyone that actually strives for physical perfection will always find something to tweak, grow, or slim. Finally, I am not a doctor, and we have never met. Different people will need different medications for different reasons -- so consult a doctor.

Herein lies the very meat and potatoes of our discussion, which is pharmaceuticals. Better living through chemistry, right? If you want the best results in the shortest amount of time, there are a variety of safe ways to do it under the supervision of a doctor. The supplement industry would have you believe that you can change your body with ease using over-the-counter remedies (which, by the way, are not regulated by the government). The truth, however, is that this isn't the case for everyone (anyone), and you do have legal and safe options. Naturally, the solutions vary according to the problem or goal, so I will divide things into 3 basic categories: Getting Bigger, Getting Smaller, and Bullshit.

Getting Bigger

First and foremost, one of the most common goal amongst men is having bigger muscles. In my many years as a trainer, I have heard almost everything. From calves to neck and every group in between, there are a lot of guys out there that would like to see some swelling in one group or another, or all of them. Before we get into what you can do about it, you need to understand some basic biology stuff: 1. As an adult, you're pretty much stuck with the number of muscle cells you have. They can grow or shrink, but without growth hormone, or GH, it is very unlikely that you will experience hyperplasia, which is the splitting of existing cells to form new ones. 2. For related reasons, some groups of muscles -- namely calves and thighs -- you either have 'em or you don't. Though the speculation is all over the map, most experts agree that the cause of disproportionate muscle growth (or lack thereof) is caused by a combination of genetics and developmental training (during the time your body is pumping out GH). That being said, what can you do?

See a doctor. If your general practitioner isn't willing to talk about it (and many aren't for a number of reasons, including everything from ignorance to ego), then see a doctor that is. There are these things called, "rejuvenation clinics," popping up all over the world. Basically, you go get a blood test, and if you come up short on testosterone or GH -- and you will if you're over 25 -- the doctor can prescribe testosterone and/or GH. All above the board.

Testosterone:

"What about my equipment shrinking?"

Your penis will not shrink. In fact, the effect will be just the opposite if anything. As for the testicles, atrophy (or shrinkage) may occur -- if you decide to jack up your dosage and do it for a prolonged period. Balls shrink out of boredom. They produce testosterone, and if you're getting all you need from another source (be it injection, cream, or patch), your brain will tell your nuts to take a break. Guess what? If they aren't doing anything productive, they just hang out and atrophy -- just like you! Under therapeutic dosage, this shouldn't become a problem. It depends on the type of anabolic steroid and the amount of time it is administered, but with few exceptions, your normal production of testosterone will resume once your brain detects a deficiency in your blood. In other words, do what the nice doctor says and you will be okay.

The types and methods of administration of testosterone are all over the map, but there's something out there for everyone, depending on your condition and goals. An important thing to remember is that there is no "magic bullet." Your results will vary based on your own personal biochemistry, as well as the effort you put into your training and diet.

"What about..."

Shut your pie hole. It's complicated, so talk to your doctor about it. It's 2008 kids. We may not have it all figured out, but we know it's not "magic." You wanted to step around the pharmacy counter, so here we are. Side effects are as varied as the individual drugs, and generally increase with the amount of androgenic properties (which are secondary sex characteristics, like acne, hair loss, aggression, etc.). Your sex drive will almost always increase, though. Imagine your former self as a teenager, except now you are older, wiser, do have a car and don't have a curfew.

Human Growth Hormone:

"What about my forehead growing? Will I get taller?"

I will pretend those questions were never asked. These things, the former being called acromegaly, only occur with mega-dosing. Bodybuilders nearly ruined the reputation of HGH by taking 12-16 i.u. per day for months on end in the quest for superhuman size and definition. It worked, but it also brought some nasty side effects along for the ride. HGH will stimulate any receptor that will take it, including cancer. If you have any receptors for growth, it's going to happen, even to the heart. You will not get taller, since the growth plates on the ends of your bones have been closed since you were a teenager, but you may notice some carpal tunnel, among other things if you decide to dose it up like that. You doc will likely prescribe you somewhere in the range of 1-3 i.u. daily. This is called "therapeutic" dosage, and that's where the money's at. HGH basically turns back the biological clock. Hair, skin, nails, muscle, and a reduction of fat. In addition, it is very likely that one will experience an increase in libido. Remember, kids: More is not better. I refer you to this site for more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Growth_hormone . Do your homework, but I seriously doubt what you will learn will be a deterrent.

Getting Smaller

Getting "ripped," to most men is at least as important as getting big. Men tend to get fat as they get older. Why? Primarily, activity levels after high school and college tends to decrease drastically with every passing year. Couple that with already decreasing hormone levels, and you find yourself with a beer gut faster than you can say, "keg stand." Speaking of which, alcohol consumption also plays a hefty role in this transition. Alcohol is a CNS depressant, so it slows down your metabolism, as well as starting a cascade of other chemical reactions in your body I won't bore you with. All you need to know is that it's counterproductive. Either way, your 40-something, and sick of hearing,"why." What now?

Aside from the obvious, "exercise and eat right," lecture, your doctor might be able to add some kick to your program with something other than we find earlier in the article, since both of those things enhance your body's ability to burn fat.

Phentermine:

Since the most difficult part of any diet is controlling what you put in your mouth, Phentermine is often a good starting point. It was the better half of Fen-Phen, or Phentermine Fenflueramine, which was a big hit when it first emerged as a super diet drug. As it turned out, however, after a couple deaths, an interaction between the two components was discovered. Naturally, it was yanked off the counter with a quickness. Phentermine is still hangin' tough as a dietary aid. It works by suppressing the appetite while acting as a stimulant. It is recommended for short-term use as a behavioral modifier. In other words, it will help you get your diet under control so when you discontinue use, you will hopefully have better eating habits. Naturally, more info here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phentermine

Amphetamines:

Seriously? Yup. NOT METHamphetamines -- different drugs. Amphetamines are making their break as anti-obesity drugs pretty widely these days. Similar to Phentermine, amphetamines are stimulants that will reduce your appetite and increase your metabolism. Not to be used in conjunction with other stimulants for obvious reasons, amphetamines can be very effective in the war on fat when used properly. Probably the best one on the market is Adderall, or its generic equivalent. Amphetamines are controlled pretty tightly, though, and with good reason. Drugs in this class come with a high risk of addiction, and kicking the habit is a real bitch. If you get a prescription for a drug of this kind, take it exactly as directed by your doctor. DO NOT increase your dosage -- more is not necessarily better. Again, do your homework, and do what the good doctor says. Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amphetamine

The drugs referred to above are no substitute for exercise and a good diet. If used properly though, they can definitely get you to your goals faster -- without spending your life's savings on "dietary supplements," with questionable data supporting the claims on the bottle. So, how does this fit into the big picture? How other people view your body has everything to do with how you see it. You project your feelings about yourself whilst moving through your day, so the bottom line is this (kinda): If you look in the mirror and you can't say, "I'd do me," then it's going to be harder to sell it to someone else. In other words, the better you feel about yourself (to an extent), the better the odds. It's all about confidence.


Next Up: Masturbation -- how TorridArt.com actually helps you stay healthy. Stay tuned, my friends, this one will rock you...